I bought this roll of unwrapped canvas on October 1, 2020, and finished it in February of 2021 because I felt a chapter in my life had ended. "NO MORE TEEN AGNST," I said... But it was more than that.

I was in recovery from a violent eating disorder that nearly killed me a few times. Maybe it was past trauma, or just how my brain had been wired, but I needed to figure out why I was the way I was. 

 So, this 1.5 m x 1-m canvas became my sounding board. I went to it at night when the anxiety would be in my head. I wrote and then I drew. I was really inspired by George Condo because he talked about the cross-section of drawing a painting- how that wasn't that common. I found some new styles and revisited old ones. I really couldn't tell you what I wrote without rereading it, it was just created in the hum of my own mind spilling out, something I am actually quite good at. I think I could actually hold a conversation with a wall for hours.  Normally thoughtless, but relieving. Self-awareness is a weird thing, I don't know if I'll ever REALLY achieve it, but I think I am better than before. Which is important. Thanks for asking btw.

 

"V: 4 LUmkA" By Cortney Connolly drawing, watercolor, oil, and acrylic (2021).